SBF stands for Slides By Frequently

Sam Bankman-Fried – SBF to the cool crowd – the fuzzy haired former bazillionaire crypto currency guru with the prepubescent looking girlfriend who, together, engineered one of the wildest financial meltdowns we’ve ever seen? He is in the news again and in the most top Democratic donor way possible..

Federal charges against him seem to drop like the balance in his FTX account. One minute he’s charged with a federal campaign violation, and the next minute…

WHERE’D IT GO?

Federal prosecutors dropped a campaign finance charge against Sam Bankman-Fried, the second time they have narrowed the indictment against the founder of crypto exchange FTX.

Prosecutors told Judge Lewis Kaplan on Wednesday that they were dropping the charge of conspiracy to make unlawful campaign contributions because they had failed to obtain permission from the government of the Bahamas for that charge when Bankman-Fried was extradited from the island nation in December.

Failed to ask the great and powerful BAHAMAS for “permission”? It seems I was not the only person to notice the unintentional hilarity of that excuse.

The US is famous for heeding the commands and wishes of small and powerless governments like the Bahamas. So once the Bahamians said they didn’t want DOJ proceeding with this campaign finance charge because it wasn’t part of the extradition, the US had no choice but to obey.🤷‍♂️ pic.twitter.com/pYDLPQded3

— Glenn Greenwald (@ggreenwald) July 27, 2023

Ah. It is kind of odd that the feds extradited this international wizard of finance from his tropical hideout and forgot to include all the “Mother may I’s” they would be needing for the laundry list of charges they had in mind. I mean, how on earth could they be so sloppy?

This also wasn’t the first charge they’d had to drop because, “Oops – forgot to ask about that one when we snatched him up.” This seems pretty serious, right? I mean, in the sense if you or I did it.

FTX co-founder Sam Bankman-Fried paid out tens of millions of dollars worth of bribes to at least one Chinese government official, federal prosecutors alleged in a new indictment Tuesday.

The indictment said accounts belonging to Bankman-Fried’s hedge fund, Alameda Research, were the target of a freezing order from Chinese police “in or around” November 2021.

‘Tis to laugh and poof! Bribery charges gone.

The mighty and all-powerful Bahamas, you know.

The Bahamas is dependent on U.S. trade & tourism for its survival.

It would take one phone call from AG Garland to get the Bahamas to consent to prosecute @SBF_FTX on the campaign finance charge.

Wonder why that didn’t happen…https://t.co/PttpmXjPtM

— MetaLawMan (@MetaLawMan) July 27, 2023

Or was it something else…

Here is my in-depth analysis on why SBF is skating free on campaign finance charges today…

“Overall, he gave almost all of the $40 million to Democratic politicians or groups, and just over $200,000 to Republicans, according to the disclosures.” pic.twitter.com/oMdaE7PYaL

— Kyle Becker (@kylenabecker) July 27, 2023

He does have (did?) some pretty powerful close friends for such a young guy.

Now, the lad is still stuck at his folks’ house as part of his $250M bail package, but that apparently hasn’t been cramping his style too much. He’s been awful busy making thousands of phone calls to reporters. This kid is a gregarious, natural networker. No wonder he could talk the money out of your pockets without you even realizing it had left.

But he just got himself in a little hot water with the judge over leaking his ex-girlfriend’s personal scribbles. And the prosecutors, as much as they’re dropping charges, sound pretty irritated in the meantime at what they call SBF’s attempt to “taint the jury pool.” Prosecutors are insisting they want to throw him in the hoosgow, take away his cell phone and right this second.

I wonder if they have to clear that with the Bahamas first?

A U.S. judge on Wednesday tightened Sam Bankman-Fried’s bail conditions by restricting his ability to communicate publicly, and said he will consider jailing him before the trial over the collapse of his FTX cryptocurrency exchange.

At a hearing in Manhattan federal court, prosecutors asked U.S. District Judge Lewis Kaplan to detain Bankman-Fried now, saying he had “crossed a line” by sharing his former romantic partner Caroline Ellison’s personal writings with a reporter, in what they said amounted to a second instance of witness tampering.

Kaplan imposed a “gag order” previously requested by prosecutors for the 31-year-old Bankman-Fried, and gave both sides until Aug. 3 to explain their views on whether jail is necessary for the former billionaire.

“I’m very mindful of the government’s interest in this issue, which I take seriously,” Kaplan said. “Mr. Bankman-Fried, you’d better take it seriously too.”

Mark Cohen, a lawyer for Bankman-Fried, said his client was trying merely to protect his reputation by communicating with journalists, and that it “really would be almost impossible” to prepare for the Oct. 2 trial if Bankman-Fried were jailed.

Right. Now they get tough.

SBF and the gang stole billions from a bunch of 20 and 30 somethings with entry level gigs and not billionaires so it’s all good!https://t.co/nACz7gdWfF

— Jordan Schachtel @ dossier.today (@JordanSchachtel) July 27, 2023

I feel like we’ve seen this show before. The only thing missing is a bong.