I Found Me a Gov Job, but Ima Hold Off Telling Ed

There’s…well…a slight chance I might not be, like, you know – the “best qualified” for the position, if you get my drift. So I don’t want to put the cart before the horse.

But, really. I think I’m perfect. I’m an experienced, inclusive, and diverse hugger from waay back, and that sounds just like what wasting your tax dollars this prestigious position calls for.

Sign me UP

Did I mention cha-ching? Did you see that salary? CHA-CHING!

Do ignore the salty sailor asking impertinent questions.

I understand DEI but what is the job of a belonging officer at a federal military academy? pic.twitter.com/O4udcoheky

— John Ʌ Konrad V (@johnkonrad) February 2, 2024

I am all about being the $191K a year DEI “Belonging” Officer of the Merchant Marine Academy’s dreams.

I BELONG there.

And before you all snicker and say this couldn’t possibly be real – not to mention wonder wtf a “belonging” officer is – let me draw your attention to the link leading to all the qualifications one must possess before even dreaming of such heights as this GS (Government Service) 15 (which is almost God-like in the gov worker pecking order) position.

Yessir, it’s as horribly real as Antony Winken Blinken nodding to the beat as our troubadour Secretary of State.

This is what life-giving BRICS is doing…

Blinken launches ‘Global Music Diplomacy’. On social network X, US Secretary of State Antony Blinken posted a video of himself playing the guitar and performing the song “Hoochie Coochie Man” by Muddy Waters pic.twitter.com/KlOKMPfqKd

— S p r i n t e r (@Sprinter99800) September 28, 2023

TRULY HORRIFIC

I’m sure many of you have wondered, as have I, where our modern services have gone wrong. I think the job requirements section of this listing for a senior position at one of our sacred service academies will give us a tiny clue as far as the incoming officer corps’ indoctrination.

FYI: Appointments to the United States Merchant Marine Academy are handled the same way as Annapolis or West Point – many people don’t realize that. In reality, most people have no clue the United States government operates a Merchant Marine Academy, period – it’s not like a regular thing on someone’s radar.

After graduation from the MMA, the midshipman, now ensigns, have two choices. They can be commissioned directly into any branch as active duty military officers, or they go into the Naval Reserves as Strategic Sealift Officers. If they choose to go active duty, they have a service obligation of five years. Their Reserve commitment is for eight if they go that way.

So you see, what happens at the Merchant Marine Academy also has an impact on our military either by virtue of the active duty officers who choose to cross over, or when they do their Reserve call-ups.

Which makes these sorts of positions all the more critical for the waste of precious dollars and the subject matter involved. In this job’s “duties section,” the last sentence could well be the most appalling and terrifying.

Duties
As a Diversity, Equity, Inclusion and Belonging Officer you will:

• Serve as the employee responsible for the oversight and management of program strategic goals; monitor and ensure the organization accomplishes government-wide Diversity, Equity, Inclusion and Belonging (DEIB) initiatives, directives and policies.

• Act as the principle advisor to the Superintendent and other senior leadership on Diversity, Equity, Inclusion and Belonging (DEIB).

• Collaborate, as appropriate, with the Academy’s Equal Employment Opportunity Manager and MARAD’s Director of Civil Rights.

• Provide or oversee education to encourage Midshipmen, faculty, and staff to embrace Diversity, Equity, Inclusion and Belonging (DEIB) and establish and strengthen an organizational culture of inclusion through classes, labs, and seminars.

• Work with Academy leadership to revise or remove Academy policies and procedures that create barriers to the admissions of diverse applicants and that encourage the retention of diverse Midshipmen. Work closely with Human

• Resources to facilitate the hiring, retention, and advancement of faculty and staff who belong to marginalized and oppressed groups.

• Develop and implement comprehensive and integrated action plans in support of the Academy’s Strategic Plan so that all elements of the institution work together to define and achieve DEIB goals.

The ideal candidate is expected to provide professional leadership and direction for a broad, coordinated diversity, equity, inclusion and belonging program that focuses on critical mission-related activities and issues. In this capacity plans, implements, manages, and evaluates all aspects of the program. Ensures recommendations are aligned to higher level management diversity plans and reflect best practices. Tracks data in order to determine trends, and presents findings to senior leadership; suggests changes and implements approved changes to the Diversity, Equity, Inclusion and Belonging (DEIB) programs. The candidate will have experience conveying DEIB concepts to others and will be a change agent for culture in the organization.

THE CANDIDATE…WILL BE A CHANGE AGENT FOR CULTURE IN THE ORGANIZATION

Well…huh.

So far, I haven’t seen any indication that any of the changes wrought in “the culture” of the other service organizations have done anything for the betterment of said military readiness or esprit de corps. And you’ll notice in the verbiage here that there is NO indication of an end-goal towards improving the Merchant Marine overall. Just argle-bargle about achieving DEIB goals while bringing on “marginalized groups” who then advance.

So, what about the Merchant Marine? Where do they fit in all of this? It is their academy, training their ships’ officer and future captains. Now, the job requisition does say you have to have “specialized experience” but I’m assuming that’s in a DEI department somewhere terrorizing other employees. According to the “qualifications” section for the GS-15 rate, doesn’t include “have first-hand maritime experience.”

It’s all about the DEIB argle-bargle. Not a damn thing about a boat anywhere.

To qualify for the Grade 15, you must have at least one year of specialized experience equal or equivalent to the GS-14, it must include:

• Experience providing authorities advice and direction on Diversity, Equity, Inclusion and Belonging (DEIB) advancement and programs.

• Experience providing technical knowledge of practices sufficient to plan, organize, carry out, and evaluate the Diversity, Equity, Inclusion and Belonging (DEIB) Office, emphasizing continuous identification and resolution of systemic problems.

• Experience developing and implementing strategies to ensure Diversity, Equity, Inclusion and Belonging (DEIB) is integrated into the organization.

How does one translate DEIB virtue signaling to the day to day life onboard a vessel at sea, where the rules are very different?

WHO GIVES A HOOT ABOUT BOATS AT A MARITIME ACADEMY?

You know, on second thought?

Maybe this isn’t the gig for me. Maybe I’ll just stick around here – torture Ed and the rest of you guys.

Besides, $191K in New York State (I’d have to move to Kings Point) – with those taxes, utilities, whackjob politicians, anti-natgas, and gun control?

FUGGEDABOUDIT

Talked myself clean out of it. Never mind.

Their loss.