Will You Aliens Please Continue to Hold the Real Fetterman? His Doppleganger Is Based AF

Wowsahs. Another week, another slack-jawed with amazement moment watching video of Fetterman, walking and talking like a normal human being and, even more dear to my cynical heart?

What to attribute the ongoing and glorious transformation to? *shrug* I’d written about the possibility of an alien abduction accounting for this miraculous turn-around last fall, and I’m still not convinced it didn’t happen, you know.

Delightfully, Fetterman has continued to just give Chuckles Schumer almighty fits with every clear and succinctly pronounced word out of his formerly Sling Blade mushed-mouth.

The target today?

It seems Sen Schumer is trying to ban a tobacco-less pouch product made in Sweden known as Zyn and similar items. Apparently these have become popular as the government went to war on vaping equipment, and really starting cracking down on the electronic cigarette industry in general.

…Zyn and other non-tobacco nicotine pouches have been gaining popularity as restrictions on electronic cigarettes have sharply increased, with sales soaring from $126 million in December 2019 to $808 million in March 2022.

The Biden administration has called for increasing regulations on e-cigarettes for targeting teenagers and young adults as well as proposed a menthol cigarette ban, which supporters say unduly affect black and other minority groups.

For the record, Schumer is also behind a push to ban menthol cigarettes. And Christmas.

Just kidding about Christmas…sort of.

Anyway, it’s, as you can guess, all being done in the name of “FOR THE CHILDREN” which is the excuse for every goverment intrusion into every orifice on your body ever.

…Schumer on Monday called Zyn a “pouch packed with problems,” accusing the Swedish company of “[locking] their sights on young kids … and then [using] the social media to hook them.” He called on the Federal Trade Commission and the Food and Drug Administration to investigate the marketing and health effects of Zyn and similar products.

It’s amazing that Dems, the party of the “tolerant” want to control every aspect of our lives, inc. banning #Zyn. This shows the liberal/progressive elite believe they know best & must help the uneducated since they’re too dumb to make their own choices. https://t.co/8M3Q2mWRAS

— Brent Buchanan, Pollster (@brentbuc) January 24, 2024

It’s also so important that Schumer is busy chasing after tobacco-less nicotine products – which I’ve always thought were supposed to be an improvement – instead of less important matters bedeviling the country like, oh, border security, and “stuff.” You can bet the fabled NY whiner is being called out by Republicans for his misplaced priorities.

Welp, besides the GOP chirping at him, which Schumer just tunes out, the nanny man from NY has to deal with the new and based version of the formerly vegetative but presumably progressive and malleable senator from Pennsylvania.

Sadly for Schumer, Fetterman isn’t anybody’s Silly Putty any more.

Feast your ears on this.

the red-pilling of @SenFettermanPA continues, as he bucks @SenSchumer’s crackdown on #ZYN:

“I’m going to err on the side of more freedom […] there’s bigger issues to address.”

welcome to the team, john pic.twitter.com/EnXLNaCyfv

— blayne c. (@blaynecs) January 25, 2024

“…I think there’s bigger issues to address than that product. I don’t support snuff and I would never support chewing tobacco but it’s available…”

I take it Big John’s a “nay” on nannyisms.

He has got to be causing such heartburn, and that is so delicious I almost can’t stand it.

And did you listen to his diction? I swear to God, it’s not even the same guy. He’s clear, rational, alert, and slinging sentences and answers in coherent fashion with nary a missed beat. Just awesome.

What a phenomenal recovery…IF…

…it’s REALLY Fetterman…